Man I still hear what I always heard in this and it really frustrates me. What I hear is its potential. For me this song is like a 6’4″ 275 pound high school senior of a son who can run a 4.1 40 and doesn’t like football.
Or worse yet, is on the team, is killing everybody, but won’t do his college applications.
This song will never reach the potential I see in it, let’s just face it.
I intended for this song to really bust us out, and I intended for it to incite a bit of revolution around us, the kind where people get up and do something. And maybe the song’s good enough for that, maybe it’s not, but either way, I think it could’ve really done something – IF I was already relatively well known –
and IF I had been playing it a lot live.
Neither happened. Really the potential I see in this song – this vision I have of it sounding like the beginning of something – which is why it’s at the beginning of the record – this vision I have where it starts not only my imagined career as a celebrated rap/rock/poet superstar, but the start of something bigger than me, bigger than NQuit, big like
I’ll just say it – big like Barack! 🙂
Seriously, that’s the kind of thing I was thinking. Take all the kids, everybody over 18 and under 40 and band them together around the inspiring idea that perhaps it’s time for a change. Perhaps Playstations and television aren’t doing it, perhaps we ARE smart enough and good enough, perhaps things can be GOOD, not good, GREAT. And get everybody together, and get something done! Like saving the fucking planet from carbon. Something real.
It took him two years to get the small something done of get the man voted into office. And as historic as it was, it’s nothing. Are we going to band together and actually DO something now? Or are we exausted from just getting to the starting line?
But back to the song. See the potential in this song and how I saw it as so much huger than it actually was is actually the thing that I was doing for a decade with NQuit. It was me pretending to be something I had yet to even try to become. Hell, that kind of pretending is so prevelant in the entertainment realm that sometimes it even works and makes you become huge!
But for us at NQuit, all of our pretending to be something we weren’t didn’t ever lead us to being that. What it did was paralyze us and prevent us from becomming it, which may, in the end, be a good thing. I’m certainly more committed to my health and family than I would’ve been had Bleed gone platinum the month we put it out (by some odd miracle).
It’s like they said in a seminar I was in once: If you start out in L.A. and want to drive to New York, it’s doable. But if you tell somebody you’re in Philidelphia and they give you directions to New York, they’ll be the wrong directions! You won’t get there.
So it’s not about wallowing around saying “oh boo hoo i’m in L.A. I can’t get there” and it’s not about pretending you’re already there. It’s about knowing where you are now, letting that be real, then going from there to your new reality. You follow me?
But listen, you didn’t come here to hear me tell you how to realize a dream I didn’t realize, or any dream for that matter.
You came here to find out who played that smokin GUITAR! YEAH! Eric Anthamatten, baby, otherwise known as dominguez.
He and I cowrote this song, actually, in that he did all that guitar work, and I fit some lyrics to it, created the melody, wrote more lyrics, and went and did my producer/editor shtick and made it the song. He did all the really weirdo backing vocals too.
And there’s a video for this song! Dominguez is the naked guy who sits on my shoulder like the devil – I think that’s what he does.
Oh man see doing this shoot really started making me think I was right about the potential. People were actually becoming involved. Dustin took this really tiny crappy camera he had and just said fuck it and put something together with it. We used chocolate sauce like Hitchcock would do and we had our friend Christian Temple (no shit that’s his name) and dominguez extraing and this hot chick licking me and the whole bit.
The reason we had people in on it besides just ME is because Dustin is the ultimate connector. I’m the stage rock star, and I’m damn good at that, but behind the scenes HE’s the rock star. He’s the one that goes out and gets people involved. If only we had had a band doing this material live a lot, or we were doing porn, I’d probably be a lot more rich, famous and dead right now.
Later people said this video was extreme or disturbing and I still can’t understand why. I shave my head, and then we play with fake blood. I don’t have a clue what’s so extreme about it. But, people didn’t run for the hills. Maybe they understood that *I* was not the visionary behind the VIDEO, that was DUSTIN. *LAUGH*
Here’s a tidbit: I can play/sing/rap a version of this song on the piano. 🙂 Maybe I’ll do that someday and video it for ya. Don’t wait up for it though.
Lemee just leave you with this, though, because god I still DO wish we’d have taken this thing platinum and people had heard the last line, because I think – well I like it:
WITH ENOUGH LOVE THIS FUCKED UP WORLD IS JUST STUFF
[purchase_link id=”761″ text=”Download Bleed from Me Here” style=”button” color=”blue”]
Buy Digitally